Am I willing to trauma dump on Substack?

Sometimes life takes a big shit in your hand and your left wondering what the fuck to do with it 😬

The biggest question is: do we take a photo of it and share it online? Do we rant about it on Facebook, and upload a story to Instagram? Surely we wouldn’t promote it on LinkedIn? Twitter isn’t really a thing anymore…and honesty I’m at a loss to the purpose of snap chat and TikTok

One thing I know though, is that when life really falls apart. When literal shit hits the literal fan. When the rug is pulled and you’re left pulling daggers out of your back and gouging bullets from your chest, there’s nothing more effective and secure and life changing than a humble text or phone call.

When your tea is proper bitter, there’s no point spilling it on social media. You’re better off showing your scalded throat and burning insides to someone who cares. A loved one. A mentor. A counsellor. Someone who won’t ‘like’ your post and comment ‘thinking of you, babe’ when they won’t even pick up the phone to see how you’re really doing. Someone who cares enough to take you out for coffee, and buy said coffee. Someone who pulls you in for a hug, even though you hate hugs, but the fact that they did it anyway shows you how much they feel for you and wish they could take that pain from you.

You won’t get that much needed support from people you reach out to online. The interweb is mainly just a place for spiders to hangout and stare at you with those eight beady eyes.

If you need butterflies. People who will envelope you in their beautiful wings and cocoon you up in their warm embrace, then reach out in person. Be a person. Connect with people by sharing your hardships face-to-face. Honour the relationship by looking them in the eye. You’ll feel so much better for it. You’ll realise people do actually care.

As someone who has recently been served her own personal pile of steaming dung, it’s been very tempting to publicly moan and groan. What would be the harm? Substacks a friendly place, ain’t it?

My argument against it is that you deserve more than a ❤️ or a 👍🏻 or a kind but half-assed sympathy comment. You deserve real support. Real empathy. Real connection with those who intimately know and love you.

I know it’s scary to have THAT conversation where you bear your soul, but that’s one of the most beautiful moments in life. That’s the crème de la crème of connection. The chocolate centre of sweet, life-giving relationships. It’s your melting moment of humanity where you get to be vulnerable and let the mask slip for a moment.

Shit is shit, and there ain’t no way to sugarcoat it. But like that viral ‘miracle fruit’ that makes lemons taste unearthly sweet. Sometimes sharing our trauma in a healthy way with healthy people can be the sweetest thing you can experience. Try it.